Coming Home
I recently went back to England for a period of two weeks. It had been a year and a half since my last visit and – honestly – I had a wonderful time. My fiancée came with me and it was her first time being in my native land. She loved it too.
Part of the reason it was so lovely is because I returned with new eyes. When I was last back I’d only been out the country for 18 months; a fair amount of time, but not enough to be fully detached from my prior experiences of the place. Then, I was there for 3 weeks before coming back out to Asia.
Internal Manifestations
In total I’ve now lived abroad for 3 years. This is long enough for England to feel ‘new’ again. With this came positivity. However, one thing I was struck by was the negativity towards my homeland from those who still live there. This shouldn’t surprise me; I felt the same before I fled. In fact it was one of the major reasons I left in the first place. What I now realise though was that I allowed my internal world to cast a shadow on the external world. This manifested as a distaste for my motherland.
Now I have lifted that veil from my mind I realise it was (almost) entirely projection. My life was crumbling before my eyes and rather than blame myself, I blamed the country. A new place, a new start and a new life would be the solution, I thought. I have discussed this before in my first ever blog article (read here) but I needed to fix myself. A change in environment facilitated that.
And as my internal world has transformed, I’m able to view the country in a different light – and honestly it ain’t that bad!
The Little Things
It really isn’t, there are so many things which British people take for granted. Small things, but they add up. In England there’s no threat of smashing a sink by leaning on it and it falling off the wall; even the poorest families own white goods; the basic level of plumbing is excellent; a weekly shop has a foundation of expensive luxuries; the architecture is beautiful; the roads aren’t potholed; people drive safely; you can walk everywhere you’d like; there’s – on time and regular – public transport; you don’t have to avoid packs of street dogs which are looking to attack you – yet because of high rents people think everything is shit.
Yes you have to work pretty long hours but – newsflash – this is exactly the same in most of the world. The corporate structure is bollocks, I admit, but there are a multitude of opportunities to get around that. You can work a trade, become self-employed or work online. There are plenty of alternative routes for the resourceful.
This isn’t to say everything is excellent; everywhere has problems and the culture war that’s constantly raging was pretty invasive – albeit I’m sensitive to its presence being who I am and what I write about.
In reality the biggest issue I found was attitude. Most Brits want to work like serfs and live like kings – and that right there is the problem: the entitled outlook.
Gratitude
The idea of gratitude is lost on us Brits. In general our humour is self-deprecating and piss-taking. I enjoy that, but it goes too far. Everyone in life has a vast wealth of things they can be thankful for, but no-one in England is grateful for anything.
It’s a crying shame, because this permeates the character of people and infects the mind of the population.
Gratitude around the world is a dying trait, yet it’s one which is personally rewarding and emotionally stabilizing. On an individual level it provides a feeling of oneness with the world, granting individuals a base level of joy. When I wrote my guest article for Benjamin GJW’s blog about contentment, I missed this out entirely. Yet to be content (something I argue we must all search for) being grateful for our blessings is an essential – and potent – tool.
For example, over the past three years I have made a habit of practicing gratitude before every meal and prior to sleeping. By reminding myself of my good fortune, the negatives do not weigh me down and drag me to a nihilistic or depressive mindset.
It’s a practice we should all adopt.
It is also something which is built in to all religious doctrine. I think that it’s no surprise that as faith has declined so too has gratitude.
Explanations?
Beyond this, Brits skew towards depressive negativity due to the amount of alcohol consumed. Whilst this doesn’t account for it all – everything social is multivariate – it’s often forgotten that alcohol is a depressant. Constant hangovers, residual toxicity and the need for chemical changes to lubricate social interactions wears down the body and mind. This bleeds into a general feeling of negativity.
There is more too: the weather doesn’t help for one. Vitamin D deficiency is prevalent; with this study citing 74% of Brits not getting enough. I have pretty big problems with the statistic (the study was conducted by a vitamin supplement seller), but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was still a significant proportion.
Media consumption is another critical factor. Breakfast News in Britain is a terrible way to start your day. Most people watch propagandised, manipulated information every morning with a constant dredge of depressive news topics cut with gossip. Mornings frame your day and that the majority of households start with this shite negatively affects moods up-and-down the country. It was what my family used to watch every morning, and I can tell you first-hand that it riles people up.
Whilst making a few small changes to solve these problems would go some way to improving general well-being, if Brits were to practice a greater level of thankfulness they would soon realise that there’s a great in Great Britain for a reason.
Small Talk, Big Feelings
As I said previously, despite these issues, I overwhelmingly had a positive experience of my time back in the UK. One major factor was that people talk. Strangers will have a small social interaction with you, a quip about their life, a mention of the weather or a compliment. This is something I miss from home; I don’t speak the language of the country I’m currently living in. I can do basic interactions, but cannot maintain a conversation. Obviously, this would be solved if I learnt the language, but I don’t plan to live here forever so have decided it would be a poor use of my time.
Beyond the fact I can actually communicate, the culture in Britain is warm. I’m not sure people realise how nice this is. We are social animals, and even small communications can boost our wellbeing. Compliments (particularly amongst the older generation) were common and my fiancée was struck by how kind everyone was towards her and the similarities with her own culture – one which is even warmer, unlike where we currently reside.
Pride and Beauty
Living elsewhere I’m also struck by the beauty of the English countryside. It’s so varied. We went to the Peak District and the landscape and architecture is traditionally quaint and lovely. Beauty is integral to our understanding of life. A place that isn’t beautiful is hard to call home; we won’t take care of it, because it does not warrant the attention required to do so. When we are surrounded by beauty, it warms our soul with pride.
And that’s exactly what I felt. Pride at my heritage; proud of our culture; and pride that such a small island could be so prosperous and invest in its beauty. Of course, that was the past. The architectural monstrosities constructed in modernity are quite the opposite. Somewhere along the way property developers and the Government lost touch with the intrinsic need to beautify; I wonder if that too contributes to the general negativity towards our green and pleasant land.
The desire to be around beautiful things is ingrained deeply within us. We all instinctively know this. Think of your favourite coffee shop. The coffee they sell should be good, but the surroundings are what make a good coffee shop, great. I’m sat here typing this in a cosy, well put together environment with soft running water in the background and an abundance of potted plants, the combination of which soothes my mind and warms my heart.
Think, too, of your home. You don’t leave the walls bare and shelves empty. You beautify it. Being obsessed solely with efficiency and costs loses sight of this well-known and appreciated need.
Entitled Lifestyle
Back to the lack of gratitude, many of my friends were complaining about money and how little they had – whilst simultaneously owning a car and spending vast swathes of cash on drinks and hedonistic living. Rent is high in the UK, but saving would be easy if they changed their leisure habits. It’s really that simple. Don’t complain about a country when it is your lifestyle which drives those problems.
It’s entitled.
If you want to save for a deposit on a house – a desire I completely understand – then you’re going to have to cede ground on other aspects of living. This seems to be too much to ask for Brits. They’d prefer to forfeit their independence and live with their parents – which for adults is a sacrifice too far – than party less. Some restraint needs to be exercised; you can’t have your cake, and eat it.
This shouldn’t need to be explained, yet the level of moaning around this issue took me by surprise. Much like my own internal issues being projected on to the country, many here do the same. Instead of railing against their own lack of discipline, they complain about their wages and the cost of living.
Again, this doesn’t mean improvements can’t be made in areas, but the only thing we have 100% control over is ourselves. They would be far better served sorting that out first.
Relativity
This may seem petty on my part, but it all ties in to a general entitlement which over time degrades the mentality of Brits, negatively impacting their lives.
They would be better served by remembering that everyone in Britain’s worst day would be the best for many throughout the world.
They should be grateful for what they have as Britain is a great country. If a little more wisdom was preached and practiced, Brits would see England for what it is: a green and pleasant land.
Thanks for reading this rather indulgent, patriotic piece.
If you feel like you associate with some of the negative behaviours I laid out from my friends, I’d recommend purchasing @LifeMathMoney’s ‘Live Intentionally: Discipline, Mindset, Direction’. It will put you on the right path – guaranteed.
Check out my review of it here.
Find me on Twitter: @thinkinpeach