So I’m trying to keep up my string of writing. I’ve been pretty creatively charged lately and have had more free time than usual at work which has allowed me to smash out some pieces. The metrics are pretty good (by my standards), so hopefully you’ve been enjoying them.
But now I have free time and I’m at a loss for what to talk about – as it stands.
So, I have decided to just start writing.
This is how you create motivation. I have no creative spark to frame this piece around, but by just DOING IT something will emerge. I don’t know where we will go, but you guys will see how it develops (although in editing maybe this will all go, who knows? Ed., it didn’t).
Journaling
I’ve been enjoying doing the writing I have lately, I’ve had several ideas that had been swishing around in my brain and by sitting down to piece it together they have emerged into something solid. This is the power of writing – and it’s something we can all do. You don’t have to publish it – as my ego demands – but you can journal. In doing so, you will uncover how you really think.
It will also push you into doing something creative. Artistic expression is fundamental to humanity; I’m not sure if there is an answer to the meaning of life – but one strong contender is creation.
Two things we are all capable of is creating and destroying. When we aren’t doing one, we’re usually doing the other. This is never more obvious than in war, but also in the online sphere. Haters and trolls are always idle malcontents who, because they aren’t developing themselves, tear down others.
On the other hand, it’s amazing what changes when you start building something. I can attest to that. My Twitter persona and blog came out of the desire to want to do something productive with my time. I didn’t really have a purpose beyond that, but I’ve gained contacts, network, and respect – even making some money as a result.
The true reward however? Personal satisfaction.
These two extremes of the spectrum are also noticeable in sex. The act of procreation is, as the name shows, an act of creation. Sex starved individuals, however, are – in my experience – more likely to be negative and destructive people. By not being regularly engaged in the process of creating life, they become engaged in the process of tearing down other’s.
Ego – Good or Bad?
It’s arguable that the act of creating and destroying is related to the ego.
This is because the ego is a fundamental driver of humanity. It’s the thing which makes us want MORE. And by wanting more, we create, innovate and develop. Much of humanity’s greatest achievements – if not all of them – come as a result of this ego-driven desire.
However, one way we can have MORE is by making others have LESS… this is where the ego can be destructive and is where many people associate it with being negative. In reality, the ego has a duality which can be used or abused depending on the individual.
Morality
And this is why we need an ethical framework. I’ve been seeing a lot of talk about this lately, and if you follow some of my Twitter peers you likely have too. I think this is the natural progression of our sphere as it moves away from pure self-improvement – which I see as the base everyone needs to build on, rather than the end position of an individual – and into something which connects our internal world with the external one.
Having an ethical framework can provide context and clarity for how to base decisions when we are stuck or in a conundrum. It gives us a way to contain our negative traits and express our positive ones; it funnels us into good behaviour.
Scourge of Ethical Relativity
In modernity there is a trend to think that good and negative traits are relative. I disagree with this. Whilst there is some variability, there are behaviours which are universally good – and there are behaviours which are universally bad. This shouldn’t be controversial – yet in our upside down world it’s now increasingly rare to hear someone say this.
For example, do not murder and do not steal are two fundamental laws which are maintained within every culture, every religion and every civilization. There’s no relativity there (I prefer the term murder, to killing however. This leaves room for self-defence against a hostile or aggressor). I also have numerous ethical behaviours and actions which I follow and also believe are universally positive. For example:
- Loyalty to your loved ones
- Monogamy
- Forgiveness
- Hard work
- Truthfulness.
This is just a quick cross-section. One day I will write a comprehensive book about my philosophy for life which will unpack and cover all these areas. But that’s sometime in the future – I’m still building my character in the public eye. The return wouldn’t be worth the effort, currently.
Having said that, if you follow my Twitter and read my blog you will be able to piece it together. I’m not withholding anything; I just haven’t put it all together in one place (partly because I don’t have it all in place in my head, yet).
Relativism and Excuses
Digressions aside, whenever I talk about these issues in public or with friends (outside of select circles) there is always a negative response: “Everyone’s different – you don’t understand the context,” or some equally puerile contrivance. It is my view when people talk about relativity of ethics it’s actually to dodge doing the hard work required to understand an issue and confront their own opinions or – more accurately – negative behaviours. Often done to promote the perception of superiority, it is a lazy and tired argument used to rationalize sub-optimal actions.
As a result, it’s also regularly used to prevent people from being made to feel bad. Similar to shaming individuals (something I discuss as a positive here) many will try to justify negative behaviours in light of not wanting to hurt people. Unfortunately, with no negative reinforcement, this means acting poorly becomes acceptable; a detrimental second order effect of being ‘nice’ – as opposed to strong.
Masculine Leadership
Strong masculine and patriarchal figures in the past would have enforced the correct behaviour. Unswayed by emotional arguments (whenever someone makes an emotional plea, I immediately disregard their position as they are attempting manipulation), they would make sure the proper conduct would be reinforced. As men have become emasculated through a combination of social trends, environmental hormonal disruptors and poor nutritional & fitness practices, this has been degraded.
When people talk of the dangers of the war on men, this is what they are discussing. When men become weak the structures which kept society from crumbling due to short-sighted, emotional responses are removed. Eliminating male accountability has resulted in a lot of the dangerous social trends that are emerging today.
Now, whenever someone mentions masculine authority it’s always screamed that men shouldn’t control women – but that isn’t what this is about. It’s not control, but guidance. A cultural free-for-all hurts everyone, including women. This is borne out by happiness statistics. Since the rise of feminism and demise of the family unit, women are less happy than ever before.
As I say in every essay I write, the reasons for any social phenomena are multivariate, but stem from a lack of authority to prevent poor behaviours. This has led women to focus on superficial success; careers and emulating men, as opposed to family and being women.
It’s very damaging – on both a personal and cultural level.
Cultural Capital, or Catastrophe?
Women who put off committing to a relationship and developing the ties which will last throughout their life – something which I believe is easier the younger a couple are, as they can develop together – often become mired in regret as their self-worth does not equate with the quality of partner they end up able to attract.
After all, if they have a high-paying job which they spent the last 10 years of their career working for they are a high-status woman – in their minds. In reality, men are far more likely to value other things than that.
For me personally, I’ve always maintained that what you should look for a spouse who would make a good mother, or father.
I’m also of the belief that mothers and fathers have different parental roles.
So men should look for a kind, nurturing woman who looks out for and encourages good behaviours, whereas women should look for a strong, wise man that looks at the bigger picture and can provide. There is far more to it than that, but as an outline it should suffice.
This obviously doesn’t take into account genetic factors, beauty and brains, which are encoded within us for finding an attractive mate – although both are as much linked to health, beings as they are a result of epigenetic transmission.
So when a woman focuses on traditionally masculine traits, as opposed to traditionally feminine ones she gains cultural capital, but loses biological capital. These poor decisions can be irreversible, as women lose fertility and struggle to conceive as they get older. I know some like this, and there is a pain etched upon their face which cannot be hidden.
It’s tragic.
My Goal
I want to prevent this happening to people, but the unfortunately reality is that you cannot convince anyone they are wrong. They have to come to this conclusion themselves. As a mental health counsellor friend once told me: “You give them as much help as you can, but there comes a point where they have to help themselves. If not, there’s nothing more you can do.”
By talking about these issues I hope to be able to influence the culture – at least in a small way – to return to these positive behaviours.
If I have any purpose for my writing; it is that.
Well that went somewhere I wasn’t expecting!
You can use this in an exercise for discipline and motivation. I didn’t know what to write, and look where we went. I wrote all of this in 2 sittings. Discipline is freedom, friends.
If you want to develop your discipline, check out ‘Live Intentionally: Discipline, Mindset, Direction’
Thank you for reading.
Find me on Twitter @ThinkInPeach