Rebirth

Reflection

From my father: the art of Manhood; the importance of not judging without knowledge of another’s path; the joys of sitting around a fire with enhanced conversation; an appreciation of history; the need for a philosophy on living; that kindness and empathy must be coupled with strength and decision-making; that a man who cannot control his emotions is no man, merely a boy.

From my mother: diligence, punctuality and the strength of a structured routine; the knowledge that occasionally indulging idiocy is integral to maintaining friendships; the knowledge that occasional harsh words are integral to strengthening them; knowing when each is required takes wisdom.

From my grandfather: the importance of maintaining health; an appreciation for the finer things in life; a love of football.

From my grandmother Josie:  making an effort with people is always appreciated and rarely forgotten; that love and loyalty are the benchmarks we must set for life; that networks neglected are easily roused for those with good character.

From my partner: that challenge overcome is strength gained; that faith is neither foolish nor irrational, but an essential component of life; that synergy is enhancement and individualism is weakness; that a life without love is hardly a life worth living.

Thank you for indulging me.

My name is Jack Peach.

Welcome.

Purpose

The purpose of this first post is to provide you with an understanding of my goals for this blog. As meaning is derived from context, I wish to provide a little. In doing so I hope you can infer a little about me, where I am coming from and why I hold the values I do.

My life can be eloquently summed up by a quote from a hairy-footed man: “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door… You step into the Road and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to.”

What do I mean by this? Well, I left my door and placed my feet on two separate roads: The Metaphorical Road of Improvement, and the Literal Road.

Starting out my only goal was to simply reverse a life of failure; to stop falling and start rising. Unaware of where it would lead I kept placing one foot in front of the other and here I am, writing this indulgent blog post.

But let’s rewind from the present and take a peek at recent history.

Some months ago it dawned on me that I’d hit a level of contentedness that I rarely see in others. In a period of self-reflection I concluded that if I were to enter the next stage of my development I no longer needed to focus entirely on myself. Instead, I must work to help other people.

Prior to this I’d always been someone who kept a low online presence. I preferred to lurk and listen, rather than speak. It served me well. After all, I was not someone worth paying attention to. At this point I needed to learn – not teach.

But in my epiphany I concluded no longer. So I began Tweeting.

Every self-actualised person must develop their own moral compass and I believe we are obligated to teach what we know in order to help raise those below us. In doing so, we climb together.

Through providing knowledge and entertaining honest discussion I hope to contribute enlightening thoughts that spark reflection and the growth associated with introspection.

For those of you for whom this sounds glib – perhaps you’re right. Perhaps it’s a rationalisation of my desire to produce, and no longer merely consume. Perhaps I feel like now is the time to start forming a legacy. Perhaps narcissism is using morality to manipulate my brain into carrying out its’ desires.

Perhaps all this is true. Perhaps, even, both competing thoughts can co-exist.

Who knows?

Regardless, pride and ego are potent tools. Only a fool fails to utilize them.

And I’m no fool.

The Blog

But why a blog, I hear you ask. They’re a low ROI waste of time, right?

Well, this should not come as a shock to those of you with a working brain, but there are degrees of nuance to ideas which cannot be unpacked in 280 character Tweets.

Because of this I always planned on moving to long-form content once I had some signal. However, this doesn’t explain why a blog, per se. Well, over the months I toyed with publishing in several different mediums: should I start an email list? Maybe a podcast? YouTube videos?

I went back and forth between them. All have pros, all have cons.

Eventually, I decided on this method of delivery. As I enjoy writing I ruled out a podcast or videos – for now. Not only this, but I want my message to be open access and not exclusive. I believe that in the long run reputation will be my most valuable asset and by giving access to my writings timelessly, to all people, I hope to build trust in my character and what I stand for.

Kindly note, this isn’t to shit on email lists. Not at all. There are acute advantages that come with the cloak of secrecy they provide. In the modern online climate many would be stupid for not taking this option. But for me that time is not now; later, perhaps.

I refuse to commit to this as I cannot see where my journey will take me. Some believe we must set firm plans for our future. I am not one of them. It is imperative we all have a purpose which informs our goals, but the exact route to their achievement must remain open. This flexibility allows us to take advantage of any opportunities that arise. Rigidness is effective when there’s only one path to take.

And I don’t take any route that lacks options.

So there you have it. The open and honest thought process behind my decision to take the low ROI option.

Rebirth

But why should you listen to me in any form? Where have I come from? What have I done?

Let me give some background.

Several years ago I was an alcoholic stumbling from one weekend to the next, with a job and lifestyle built to facilitate my sole reason for living: partying. From the age of 14 the entirety of my purpose was getting enough money together in order to get off my head at every available opportunity.

I was a true hedonist – resourceful enough to create an existence around this decision, but naive enough to think it was living.

As can be imagined this pathetic, meaningless boy began slipping into a dark hole with a gradually dwindling light source.

From the outside everything seemed light and breezy. I was popular, single and well-liked, but on the inside everything was heavy. By the time I was twenty-two my body and mind were creaking under the strain.

So much was missing – and what started as a crack soon became a fissure. With the death of my grandma (who was like a second mother to me), a failed (and foolish, in hindsight) relationship with the, ahem, ‘fairer sex’ and the dreaded reality of Life After Education, I realised a change was needed.

And change I did. Knowing intrinsically that merely thinking about it was not enough, I acted. Using money saved up through my exploits to fund 6 months of travel, I booked a flight to Thailand. Yes, I was that wanker who went travelling to ‘find themself’.

But unlike most, I rediscovered that which was lost.

I look back on that decision to act (never underestimate the power of decisive action) as the transformative moment of my life.

Now, travellers get a bad rap in general and my experience was – honestly – much of it is deserved. Self-centred faux-intellectuals who believe ducking responsibility to go on fucking holiday makes them a superior breed of human. Many have a level of pretension that I find unbearable.

But despite the bullshit mentality of some that take this option, travel itself is every bit as deserving of the positive clichés that surround it.

Exposure to other cultures; seeing how much of life is culturally informed and not intrinsically human; observing cross-cultural similarities hinting at what is intrinsically human; the excitement of travelling into the unknown;
time spent alone in reflection forcing the examination of our soul: its dreams, hopes, fears and insecurities.

Travel coerced me into socialising with people whom I had no commonalities – many I barely liked – for the simple sake of preventing alienation from descending into madness. In doing so I learnt just how immature I was. I knew so little about life beyond the confines of my self-constructed prison of pleasure.

This was brought into sharp focus by the fact that travelling alone is hard. Fun, yes. Rewarding, likewise. But hard.

You have no support network; you’re constantly off balance and always saying goodbye. You see the couples, their strength of intimacy sheltering them from the loneliness intrinsic to solo-travel; you see the groups of friends maintaining their shared sense of camaraderie, their culture from home and – at times – it hurts.

But from suffering comes growth.

In fact, those I previously envied, I now pity. Fear of facing their path alone weakened the impact this rite of passage could have had on their development. Overcoming adversity as an individual builds, forges and strengthens men. My choice was conductive to this. Their choice insulated them from it.

I realise this now, but believe me, I didn’t see it like that at the time.

I tell you this to remind you that if you’re going through a painful reframing – be it Educational, your first time living away from your family or any other challenging life event – to take heart. This experience WILL strengthen you. What provides pain now, provokes pride later.

Over this period I cut out the vast majority of my party lifestyle, re-examined my character and realised an entire re-build was needed. Perhaps I was already aware of this, but travel brought it into sharp actualisation. I could no longer ignore what my body was telling me.

My transformation was gathering speed.

And then, somewhere along the Road – in a hostel in Kuala Lumpur – came the next milestone in my journey. If booking the flight to Asia was the catalyst for my change, this was the engine behind its accomplishment.

What happened?

I met my partner and reshaped my life.

Meeting her gave me focus where I previously had none. Using our relationship as a grounding force, I created a new life out of nothing but sheer strength of will and a refusal to quit.

We faced uncountable trials and tribulations: I worked in three different countries on three different continents; we had battles over visas; we struggled with cultural issues and work problems.  But eventually, after years of fighting, we reached the point we’re at now: living and working together in Thailand – the place it all started – a certain cyclical synchronicity that speaks to the romantic in me.

Understand this. My relationship is sacrosanct. It is holy to me. Thus, its privacy shall always be respected. This is likely the last you will hear me speak of it, except in passing.

I strongly believe in the power of love and if this offends you as some irrational bullshit you will struggle with my writings. We are all connected, whether you realise it or not. This is why constantly moving forward is so important, and stagnation so dangerous. The will to become better draws in love and spits out success.

But I digress.

Throughout this process I have constantly tweaked, improved and manipulated myself to continually grow. I barely recognise the man-child I was before I left. I’m no longer a pale, skinny, sickly looking party boy. I’m by no means the finished article – self-improvement never truly ends – but I am content, settled and satisfied.

I want you to comprehend this. I fought for my life. I’ve lived and worked in different countries with vastly different cultures. I’ve been forced to learn languages out of sheer necessity. I spent 10 months working in a village of 1,500 people in a culture I barely understood, speaking a dialect I understood even less. But I thrived.

I’m not rich. I’m not an entrepreneur. I’m not a playboy.

What I am is self-actualised and balanced.

And there is value in that.

Welcome.

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If you’d like to read more from me, check out the Guest Article I wrote for my friend Benjamin GJW’s blog:
https://benjamingjw.com/2019/03/18/happiness-vs-contentment/

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